Hee hee.. No, not barfing. Well, some.

I have been asked if the pause in my blogging has been due to much and strenuous barfing... LOL. Well, although I have had a few headaches that had me barfing, that's not the reason for the pause. The reason for the pause was just that. I needed to PAUSE. Pause everything. Christmas is so hectic with all of the running around, buying, wrapping, baking, decorating, partying, travaling, packing, unpacking, laundry, etc etc. Not to mention all of the photo shoots and cards that I made in December.... I just needed to PAUSE. Needed to slow down and spend some good time with my children just being. BUT.... one can't do that for too long or one is very sorry.... so, I have to stop pausing now and get back into the swing of things.

This pregnancy has been so much harder on me than any of the others... I feel so ill.... not barfy ill.... just sooooo much fatigue. So just not myself. Everything is such an effort. I'm so sleepy. If I were not pregnant, I would go to the doctor and tell them that something is wrong with me and they need to figure it out. But I'm sure it's all the pregnancy. I have been continuing to commit myself to things.... and I have just decided that the answer is NO. Not until I am feeling better. I have been pushing myself, saying yes to various services for others... only to WISH SO BAD that I hadn't agreed. A few times I just knew that I couldn't carry through with it, and it was unecessary anyway, so I canceled. I literally almost felt the weight lifted after canceling. So, I have decided that I am going to say NO from now on, until I feel all better. I am going to treat my condition (sickness, it is making me so sick!) as a temporary disease and just take it easy for now. Stay at home, tend to my babies, get school done and just do more relaxing. I'm just getting too stressed out trying to participate in everything that I feel I should.

I keep finding that I'm dreading when the phone rings. THAT isn't right! Because usually, ..... the call means that there is something I need to DO. Make a meal, do a haircut, schedule an appointment, photos..... whatever. So.... I'm just going to KEEP IN MY MIND my small commitment to myself and my family to say NO, treat my condition like a disease for now and not feel guilty about it. Because EVERY time I say yes... it ends up being a huge ordeal that stresses me out and affects my family's schedule, our schoolwork, meals, the chores, I don't get done all of the things that I should have because I said I would do something else for another. That's not being a good mama! God told me to be first a wife (not a grumpy one), then a mother, (not a stressed one because I thought I could take on more and it turns out I can't while expecting, then a keeper at home (not one who neglects the keeping to serve others). Now, there is nothing wrong with serving others... but I believe that should come after my first three priorities.

ANYWAY.... just finding out the hard way that life is full of adjustments. I don't have only 2 children anymore. I can't do all that I used to and still get done what I should. Not right now anyway. There is too much laundry. LOL I hate laundry. I wondering when they will make disposable, cheap clothes. I guess that's not very kind to the environment. Not that I ever have time to go outside and even SEE or ENJOY the environment..... **sigh** then again, I really don't feel like going outside because that requires effort. Maybe in the summer I'll feel differently.